Random Bits of Wit and Wisdom

The weekend finally grinding to an end yesterday with the gospel sing at the Kowgirl's a fitting final curtain for most of the citizens that had to return to reality on Monday . Not your average Gospel show though , musicians from all venues showing their best pieces and of course some actual gospel songs were performed . A gathering by the side of the road for around a hundred plus folkies , bikers , hillbillies , hippies , drifters , druggies , dimwits , bona fide music lovers , retired executives , and a couple of cowboys . There were a lot of Adult beverages present and a healing process was being performed , it appears that Saturday was a bit harder on some than others . No harsh words , no arguments , just a bunch of good folks having fun and enjoying the day . I couldn't help but wonder if our two erstwhile presidential candidates would have been able to get in touch [ as they are so fond of saying ] with this crowd ? I don't think so! This bunch would have shredded them like so much confetti and left them babbling even worse than they already are . 
To steal a line from Bob Dylan , " Later on as the crowd thinned out , and I was about to do the same", the leftover regular hangers on of Kathy's were sitting and surmising their condition , I gleaned a few bits of wit and wisdom I'd like to share , I won't attempt to assign responsibility to who these pearls belong to , just enjoy and make what you will of them ;
"you know , you can train burros and horses to play soccer "
" if your hanging fence in West Texas or partying down in Key West it's best to start slow and then ease up " 
"hedge funds are on the verge of collapse , any day we are gonna see the market collapse "
" darlin , I'd rather share a warm Lone Star with you than have a hundred cold martinis in Houston "
" ya think he really got that drunk ?"
" I lost my oars on the Mexican side "
" purple mushrooms don't grow near the purple rocks at the creek " 
" he drive his truck down the side of that thirty foot arroyo and the only thing that got hurt was the goat in the back and the new tires on the front "
" there are some unfriendly sons of bitches at that border crossing "
" if you get tased at a club in Austin , don't resist . It just encourages the bastards"
" Bryan Duckworth and Vassar are the two best fiddle players ever " 
" I got some two bys we can jam under that "
" I think gravity is stronger over here , I cain't hardly get up no more "
" rodeo bulls are a lot bigger in the field than they are on TV "
" He roped a mountain lion off his horse , course he had a good horse and he had his pistol out "
" I ain't going back to that Boquillas , damn Sotol liked to kill me last time"
That's just a small portion I recall but the best one I saved for last . For those of you in the know as I teetered off to take my siesta I heard someone call out ;
"Anybody got a set of jumper cables ?!"
Gotta go ....